Well, as my weight started to drop to the same dangerously low level it was at when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest, I started to think something was wrong. It's not healthy for my weight to drop this low. If I lose another five pounds I'm putting myself at risk for heart attacks and other health problems. It's time to figure out what I'm doing wrong.
I set myself up with a diet tracker app on my phone. I was kind of curious what I could find out by tracking my diet, fitness level, and all of that, so I chose My Fitness Pal. Normally these programs are geared towards weight loss, but I think there's nothing wrong with using them for weight gain. Pretty much anyone can sign up for a free account, search thousands of kinds of food, and track their diet. For me, it also tells me how much extra calories I've earned every day by working out, but I would think it would work a little differently for someone trying to lose weight. At the beginning of the process they ask you what your goals are, and you can choose fitness goals, weight gain/loss goals, etc. Obviously I chose a weight gain goal.
Later I was kicking around on the website and noticed they have these nifty little calculators. They tell you your BMI (which I know mine is considered unhealthy), as well as your BMR, which is your body's metabolic rate when at rest. In other words, how many calories does your body burn just to exist each day if it did nothing but stay at rest. As I found out, I need 1,200 calories every day for my height, weight, and age. How much do I normally eat? Well, let's just say less than 1,000. It's not that I'm trying to starve myself or anything. I honestly think I'm eating a lot more than I do. I'm just not hungry for more than that! Now add to that all the calories burned when I did yoga, dancing, and running around after the kids. Obviously I'm requiring more calories than I'm consuming by a good deal. No wonder I can't keep a steady, healthy weight!
So what has this magic program told me? I need to be eating over 2,100 calories a day if I want to start working towards my weight gain goals. I should probably include some yoga and strength training if I don't want all that extra weight I gain to be fat. Even so, I've got to work on building up a healthy body weight, and I'm starting to think I just can't do it! I can't eat that much! It's hard not to come to 500 or more calories short! Yesterday I was almost 900 calories short! It feels like I've got to force feed myself a lot more than I'm used to eating.
I know some people would be jealous of me. They wish they could be as small and tiny as I am. They think it's easier to battle being underweight than it is to battle being overweight. Is it? Honestly, I don't know. All I do know is that I'm having a terribly hard time of it. I've got to figure out how to train my body to eat and want more food every day. I need to do things that will encourage muscle growth so I can be putting on healthy weight, but for now, I'd just take any weight gain at all! I need to completely overhaul my lifestyle because clearly I'm just not getting enough of what I need.
That's one thing I will say about little programs like these. When you have to write down every little thing you eat, it gives you a realistic perspective of what you're doing to your body. For example, I always thought I ate a lot of food, but in reality, I eat three meals each day and a couple of snacks, sure, but the portions I eat are so small that I'm not eating as much as I think I am. I know for others I've talked to, it's been the opposite kind of eye opening experience. They see exactly how many calories they do take in every day, and exactly how much they eat, and it helps them limit their own choices.
For me, this isn't so much about society's standards on what's considered too fat or too thin. This is about being healthy. So much of my life I've had people assuming I'm so incredibly healthy because I'm thin and when they see me eat, more often than not I can put away a good meal! Of course, what they're not seeing is I'll put away one good meal each day, and then skip out on breakfast or lunch because I'm just not hungry. A lot of people assume thin means healthy, but thin can also mean nutrient deficient. If I really wanted to be careful about my health, I'd be taking a vitamin supplement every day to make sure I get the nutrients I need. At this rate, from the looks of it, I would always be snacking on some kind of healthy snack too, though it may just have to be pretty constant because healthy snacks are typically low calorie snacks. I might just become that image in the cartoon of the little animal that's always hungry and eating everything in sight...
Being healthy isn't easy. Between choosing good foods to eat, living a healthy lifestyle, getting enough exercise, and everything else, it's a lot to manage. It's not as simple as living your life and hoping for the best. It makes me wonder what kind of image I'm going to be showing my kids, especially if they see that their mother's got to eat all day to maintain a healthy weight. What if that's not healthy for them? What if that has the effect of making them gain too much weight, and as a result, be unhealthy? There's so much to consider and so much to think about. For me? I'm going to see what I can scrounge up to toss another few calories into the mix for this morning. I want to see if I can actually stomach eating as much as I have to in order to gain the weight I need!
No comments:
Post a Comment